It seems to me that I'm not alone - in fact, I know I'm not - but it's not always close at hand. So I thought that perhaps this would be a good space to share: some of the funny experiences, some of the sad - and perhaps learn something. It would be splendid if you would share some of your experiences as well.
I'm not a normal mom, but then neither is any other mom. But I'm a special mom. See, I have a special needs chadult (that's adult / child combined). Which must mean something, right? It does mean that I have not yet, as an adult, been able to have anything close to a 'normal' life. I can't just take things for granted - I can't just have pals over, or just go visiting, or just get on and get things done, or sign up for any long lasting class, or play a card game with my chadult, or take her dancing. The list goes on, but you get the picture. And for anyone in this position, I KNOW you know exactly what that means. Endlessly doing things for someone. It may not be quite as tedious if the things changed, but the only change that seems to happen is when you lose a little more of your own brain. Most of us tend toward a slight looniness, just out of self preservation. And our reality is pretty simple, blunt and to the point. So forgive us when we state the obvious, or apparently have no nuances. We have had to learn to deal with things that most folks can't imagine.
My chadult is thank goodness well balanced, fairly self sufficient, responsible and has a code of ethics that would put a pope to shame. Well, maybe that's not quite true with all the press about popes and suchlike these days. Anyway, she's a good person. A total sweetheart in fact. So I've taken all opportunities to create an adult life that I could participate in at times.
One night, not too long ago, I met up with a friend for a drink. My daughter has a cell phone, which is a lifeline at times. This night, I called and called, with no response. After about an hour, I was getting really edgy and wanting to go home when she called me. Phew! Heart, get back down in that chest. The situation - she'd gone outdoors and the door had slammed behind her. Locked! Oh no, what to do, what to do! So she went to a neighbour and together they got her back inside the house - by taking the door off! Brilliant?! Well, it worked!!
We've done slow step and line dance classes where it's chaos - she has no rythm whatsoever and would spend the entire class bouncing off whoever was closest to her. Not on purpose, mind you, but she just couldn't get out of the way. Or keep up with the steps. Needless to say, these sorts of activities didn't last for too long.
Anyone who wants to share something that made you laugh, made you cry, placed a large question mark over your head, or found a solution to some of the myriad issues that come up - go on, please do. You have an audience!
